Drinking and driving

I should probably start off by saying that I'm against it. Ever see that billboard on the way back from Palm Springs that says, "tipsy driving is the same as drunk driving"? I even kind of agree with it! But, of course, we've all had that experience where we clearly shouldn't have driven home but did it anyway, only to wake up the next morning with no idea how you got home or where your car is. Of course, it's safely tucked away in your garage/carport/parking spot, and you feel like you might have magical powers and that you are that one person who is invincible and just should be driving at all times. Just me? Ok. For every one of those, there's the morning where you realize that your car has a dent it that it definitely didn't have when you left your house the day before, or maybe you blow out your two tires when you hit a median on the way home. Still just me? I could keep going like this Daniel Tosh style until there is just one person in the room still laughing, but I won't. Because I have a point. Two, actually. First, this ad (clearly paid for by some alcohol type company and I think is about opposing ignition interlocks [which obviously are a grand idea]) spells Lindsay Lohan's name wrong. Look closely. That's just fucking stupid, as you know this thing isn't cheap (full page ad in USA Today). Second, why are they encouraging drunk driving? Even friendly happy hour ads shouldn't encourage it - they should team up with cab companies! I'm so disturbed...

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream

In case you couldn't tell from my Ben & Jerry's free cone day post, I LOVE ice cream. A lot. And when I read that Mr. Robbins of Baskin Robbins died at age NINETY the other day, I decided it was ok for me to eat ice cream. Instead of apples - a cone a day will keep the doctor away, right? Then I found this article about the ten worst ice cream flavors of all time. In case you don't want to read it (but it's funny, so you should), I'll recap.

1. Wasabi ginger - from Cold Stone. "What am I supposed to mix in, chunks of fish?"
2. Fish - "What am I supposed to mix in, wasabi?"
3. Black licorice - hey, I can't even drink Jagger. Or eat fennel.
4. Wheat - I'll take it in carb form, thanks.
5. Pit viper - just, no.
6. Raw horseradish - if it's not on my tri tip or Arby's sandwich, I'm not interested.
7. Tomato - I can't even eat tomato soup.
8. Charcoal - that's not even a food.
9. Viagra - just take it in pill form.
10. Salad - ice cream is fattening, stop pretending. "It just makes it the most retarded thing you could ever try and market to fatties."

Now I'm really wishing I was capable of keeping ice cream in my freezer. But I'm not, so I have nothing to go snack on to get the idea of salad ice cream out of my head.

Feminine Hygeine

Read further at your own risk; this is about to be girly and gross. I found this horrific article the other day, and after being completely repulsed, I had a whole thought process involving tampons. Then tampons versus pads, and why one would choose one over the other. Then the vague fear of toxic shock syndrome, which I still think might be fake. I'd write more on this subject, but I think I would just freak myself out (and my reader) and that's just unnecessary. Read the article, if you aren't squeamish, and then just think about it. Being a girl sucks.

Booooooring

This will be short because this episode was such a waste of tv time that I don't even want to recap. It barely even set anything up for the finale! In summary: Audrina is a sad third wheel, Justin Bobby has short hair but still looks like he doesn't shower, Lo and Lauren got a dog, and Audrina is not one of its mommies, Spiedi still vie for camera time, and um ... that's it. Oh yeah, Lo has great facial expressions and is obviously breaking up the Audrina/Lauren duo.

Miller Lite: Better than 72 virgins

Not that I think I'll be getting into heaven (which generally doesn't concern me as I don't think many of my friends would be there either and I bet the parties are cooler in hell), but I think/hope it might be like this:

Cat people

So some people have cats. I really have no feelings on cats one way or the other, as long as they don't hate me. But I get why people love them, own them, etc. However, it's one thing to own a cat, and love your cat, and an entirely other thing to get your cat an attachable desk tray so that they can be near you and not on your laptop. That's "scary cat lady with hundreds of cats found eating her body weeks after her death" weird.

FYI - dogs don't want to sit on your laptop. They are fine just being near you, not annoying you. However, dogs also have weird and annoying owners with websites devoted to cute pet pictures of the day. People: start reading blogs instead.

Those crazy Brits

Yes, we are all familiar with Facebook. I hear all the kids are into it these days. Unfortunately, I can safely say that over half of my friends don't even have accounts (and thus I can't follow their doings). I found this great video on the web and felt the need to share (it's only like 30 seconds, don't worry).