Vintage Livi's

I love old timey items. Take, for instance, old Levi's ads. Apparently in the good old days, men were very active. And women, well, enjoyed leisure (as do I). For example, men like rodeos. And ropes. And horses:While women like... picnicking? Clearly, Levi's didn't ask for my opinion. While I enjoy a life of leisure (well, being lazy), picnicking ranks pretty low. Near camping. Why, you ask? Well, you're outdoors. Hiking may be required. Food is not fresh. Chances are, ants and other bugs will be rampant. Blankets are rarely large enough for "lounging" properly. Most importantly, there is no way she can sit down in those pants, or do anything else. I mean, she could hit a few balls in those clothes, or be a farmer in those clothes... but that's about it!Then we have this gem. Forget the hair, the glasses, the colors, the stripes, the turtlenecks, and all that is wrong with the men. What is happening with the chick in the background? What is she loving about these guys? I'm so very confused.This all just makes me want to say: no thank you, Levi's.

Earth Day

Normally April 22 is just another day of the year with no particular meaning. Well, I make sure I recycle all my cans, and I try a little harder not to litter. But today I came across this picture of Bette Midler doing good for the environment:After I smiled in amusement, I was reminded of one of my favorite quotes. "Oh how fabulous. Getting Marky Mark to take time from his busy pants dropping schedule to plant trees. Josh, why don't you just hire a gardener?"
You're welcome.

(and by tagging this post as a celebrity crush, I'm more referencing Paul Rudd and Alicia Silverstone than the early '90s Marky Mark. Although Mark Wahlberg is definitely bangable)

A Cinderella Story

I'm currently watching Pretty Woman on TBS (they always know what I want to watch, I swear they're mind readers), and it got me to thinking. When I was a kid, I used to want to be Vivian (Julia Roberts' character, in case you haven't seen it in a while). Like, we used to compete over who was allowed to name their Barbie Vivian, until one of us got a red-headed Barbie and got to keep the bragging rights forever. I know - great story. If you have time, I'll tell it again. Irregardless, Gary Marshall did something magical with this movie. He was able to convince millions of young girls (I know I wasn't alone in this) that even if they actually became a hooker in Hollywood with cracked out friends, a rich and successful man (with a midgety, boorish friend), would come and rescue them, literally on a white horse. Plus, I wanted the clothes. The dress she wears to watch the polo match I'd still buy and wear in a heartbeat. With the hat, natch.
Sorry, I couldn't quickly find a full length picture that had the dress, as I'm lazy and didn't look very hard. But this should trigger a memory of the dress and it's fabulosity. Oh, I also love this movie because it reminds me of how fuckable Richard Gere is, despite the whole gerbil rumor. He was a hottie back in the day! (ok, ok, I'd still do him) Also, I think it might have introduced the idea that if you aren't being kissed (on the mouth) during sex, your partner might be thinking that you are a prostitute. Ok, well probably not literally. Is it universally true that prostitutes refuse to kiss on the mouth? My limited experience in the field (i.e., watching Pretty Woman) says yes, but I'm guessing that's probably not true. And on the other end of the spectrum, I've had sex without kissing, and I know I'm not a prostitute. So there!

Point is, I pretty much cannot come across this movie on tv without watching it all the way through. Just like Clueless, and a few others.

The Brothers' Grimm

Yes, we all recognize Matthew Lawrence front and center in this picture. A) you know him as Joey Lawrence's (whoa!) little brother and B) you've likely already seen this post on one of the million gossip sites that posted it. I'm going to credit Gawker for the pic, since I yanked it from them. I love this picture because it has fucking Ben Savage!!!! I adore the Savage brothers because I grew up watching the Wonder Years, and, later, Boy Meets World. Even I had a crush on Topanga. Actually, to be fair, I had the biggest crush on Shawn, even though his career has been on a saaaaad trajectory of late (Buck Naked Arson, anyone?). I just wanted to share this little blast from the past, because my tiny, shriveled and blackened heart skipped a beat when I saw this photo. Someone bring my Savage boys back to tv!

Vintage Posters

Who doesn't love old-timey advertisements, movie posters, tv shows, etc.? Back when Americans were so innocent (or ignorant, if you go far enough back). I found this poster on Jezebel, and it made me think of the great ads I've read in the past. Namely, stuff like this:


But hey, I'm talking about porn, sorry for getting distracted back there. Look how PG movie ads used to be! For starters, this girl isn't anorexic, so that's nice. Also, it's a drawing! I <3 drawings. They have imagination, fun lighting, color, and they're cute. I'm especially enjoying the sexual innuendo (which is necessary, what with this being a porno). However, were I creating the poster, I think that I would have referenced a nooner at some point. Just for funsies. Then again, I like going for the easy joke. Also, as cartoon boobs go - hers are pretty great. Just saying. Finally, she this chick looks like she knows how to have a good time: