I'm in love...

...with David Beckham. Like every other red blooded woman in America. I'd even put up with his kids (there's a nanny ... and they are seriously adorable. They breakdance!). But seriously. Check this out:Yes, I took the image from Perez Hilton. Also - were I to make Becks fall in love with me (or have me be his piece on the side, I'm not picky) would I get courtside Lakers finals seats? Galaxy tickets? World Cup tickets to watch him play for England? I think I just died thinking about that.

Dangers of one night stands

I know you're thinking: damn it, she's about to lecture about STDs (or STIs or VD or whatever the hell we're calling them these days [note: I only ever speak of gonorrhea - because it's funny]) or pregnancy, but no worries! The latest thing that should be going through your mind if you're eying that certain hottie at the bar: if I don't call her after this night, will she show up somewhere and sear me with a branding iron??

Some crazy bitch in New York enlisted the help of her now-boyfriend to lure some poor one night stand from years earlier to a hotel room, then proceeded to brand the guy with a 24 inch high "R" (no one knows what the "R" stands for - it's not obvious like the "A" in Scarlet Letter). She was just sentenced to five years, as was the now boyfriend.

NYC Woman Gets 5 Years for Branding Ex-Lover
Dude Doesn't Call Woman Back, Woman Decides to Brand Him

Vintage Livi's

I love old timey items. Take, for instance, old Levi's ads. Apparently in the good old days, men were very active. And women, well, enjoyed leisure (as do I). For example, men like rodeos. And ropes. And horses:While women like... picnicking? Clearly, Levi's didn't ask for my opinion. While I enjoy a life of leisure (well, being lazy), picnicking ranks pretty low. Near camping. Why, you ask? Well, you're outdoors. Hiking may be required. Food is not fresh. Chances are, ants and other bugs will be rampant. Blankets are rarely large enough for "lounging" properly. Most importantly, there is no way she can sit down in those pants, or do anything else. I mean, she could hit a few balls in those clothes, or be a farmer in those clothes... but that's about it!Then we have this gem. Forget the hair, the glasses, the colors, the stripes, the turtlenecks, and all that is wrong with the men. What is happening with the chick in the background? What is she loving about these guys? I'm so very confused.This all just makes me want to say: no thank you, Levi's.

Role model of the day: Lisa Simpson

As Jezebel pointed out, Lisa is kind of adorable, with "her activism, enthusiasm for hobbies and books, love of cartoons and animals, and regard for feelings and unicorns." I mean, who doesn't love unicorns? Have you ever noticed that she might be a little feminist icon though? Check it out by linking to Jezebel because I can't find this damn video anywhere else. Sigh. And no, I don't know how to get rid of the Japanese subtitles.

Also, the Daria video they link to at the bottom of the post is fucking hilarious. Watch and reminisce.