Maybe it's the cheese

I present: more reasons to live in California. As if it wasn't clear enough already, there's evidence. In the form of charts! I heart charts.
I think it might have something to do with the weather. Experiences are great (even if you aren't a hippie).

Catering jihad

As it turns out, the Foo Fighters are funny. Just take a look at their tour rider.
Also, it turns out Dave Grohl is very particular about plastic cups. If he is this passionate on the issue, I wouldn't cross him. If we've learned anything from 9/11, it's that jihads are bad. Very very bad.

It's about damn time!

Sound familiar people? Don't think this isn't overpowering the Sex and the City movie and Indiana Jones sequel in the list of things I'm looking forward to the most.


I'm still hoping for a Shannen Doherty return.

To jump or not to jump

Washington DC is concerned that its citizens are getting a little jump happy while waiting for the train. Prompting the question: do you feel more suicidal during the morning commute or evening? You're either dreading another hellish day ahead of you, or you just left your incredibly mundane and suicide-inducing day. My issues: a) I like my job and b) jumping onto train tracks does NOT sound like a fun way to go. Just my two cents.

Anyway, to keep its citizenry on the platforms and away from the arriving trains, DC signs have games that you can play to keep you occupied. And by "games" I mean hopscotch and I-Spy. The very same games you enjoyed as a small child when your days were filled with happiness and wonder! Don't forget the logo: "Life is fun. Keep on living. Use caution around the tracks." Uh huh.

Pleasantville

Or, as I like to call it, Irvine. If you haven't been, you've probably at least heard of it. Irvine is a planned city, where homeowners' associations rule all (here's a link to a typical neighborhood). With one notable exception: the "village" of Northwood. Before I get to that, here's a little Irvine information. Irvine was incorporated in 1971, and was basically completely developed by The Irvine Company. Population as of the 2007 is 202,000, with the following racial makeup: 61% white, 1.45% black, .18% Native American, 29.8% Asian, 7.3% Hispanic/Latino. In 2006, the median gross rent paid for housing was $1,660 a month, which was the highest of any place in the United States of more than 100,000 people. The median income for a household is $84,270. All the high schools consistently rate on Newsweek's list of Top High Schools (top 4% in the nation). Finally, Irvine has been named at least three times (2005-2007) as The Safest City in the United States.

I've lived on and off in Irvine since 1995, and the running joke is that it's a "bubble" where everything looks the same, is overplanned, with no nightlife, but lots of police officers and no crime. Also, the homeowner's associations have a very firm grip. As in, my parents get letters if a plant dies in the front yard, they were required to paint the basketball hoop over the garage the same color as the house, and got a call when they only replaced one door knob of the double French doors (the second was on back order).

Knowing all this, I was surprised when my roommate and my sister went for a bikeride and came back to tell me about this crazy house they spotted (in the non-HOA village of Northwood).
It's like a mini castle. And it might be abandoned (black windows, half of which are boarded up), and I guess there was some scary child molester van parked out back. Also, I hear there are torches. Why? Makes no sense. Even three story houses don't makes sense in this neighborhood. And now, from the cul-de-sac behind the house:Finally, the crazy lot of this house:
Point is, Irvine is KNOWN for not allowing this kind of craziness to exist. Clearly I find this interesting, and I'm sure you do not. I will resume normal cheesy blogging shortly.

He may be a douchebag...

But his video is hysterical. Plus there's a Kristen Bell cameo (and everyone knows how much I love her).

The internetz

I will fully admit it: I am technologically challenged. I was the last to join Myspace and Facebook, I don't know anything about HTML code (except how to create paragraphs on Myspace), I'm incapable of figuring out why my laptop won't show YouTube videos anymore, and I'm not even sure I could steal music online if I wanted to (I have an irrational fear of being arrested and fined hundreds of thousands of dollars for downloading Britney Spears, so I kind of refuse to try). Recently, I've made strides in this arena. I started a blog (obvs), I set up Google Reader so
that I can organize all the sites I go to, I learned how to make screencaps, and I've heard of Twitter. I was happy with my little situation, when I learned that apparently we are now using a version of the web called 2.0, and version 3.0 is in the works. What the hell does that mean? It can't be like when you get a message asking you to download version 13.4 of AIM and suddenly you have the capability of combining all IM conversations into one window.

"[T]he Web 3.0 browser will act like a personal assistant. As you search the Web, the browser learns what you are interested in. The more you use the Web, the more your browser learns about you and the less specific you'll need to be with your questions. Eventually you might be able to ask your browser open questions like 'where should I go for lunch?' Your browser would consult its records of what you like and dislike, take into account your current location and then suggest a list of restaurants."

"Some Internet experts believe the next generation of the Web — Web 3.0 — will make tasks like your search for movies and food faster and easier. Instead of multiple searches, you might type a complex sentence or two in your Web 3.0 browser, and the Web will do the rest. In our example, you could type "I want to see a funny movie and then eat at a good Mexican restaurant. What are my options?" The Web 3.0 browser will analyze your response, search the Internet for all possible answers, and then organize the results for you."

I can't be the only person freaked out by this. Yes, in theory, it sounds cool and smart. But in reality - it kind of feels like something out of a sci-fi movie. Like, my computer could become smarter than me and try to kill me. I can figure out my own movies and Mexican restaurants (using yahoo and yelp, of course) with my computer only doing some minor assisting. Last time a computer tried to predict my interests, I ended up with my Tivo recording golf tournaments, Baseball Tonight, and some Spanish soap opera (I know like four words of Spanish). Stupid technology.

Drinking and driving

I should probably start off by saying that I'm against it. Ever see that billboard on the way back from Palm Springs that says, "tipsy driving is the same as drunk driving"? I even kind of agree with it! But, of course, we've all had that experience where we clearly shouldn't have driven home but did it anyway, only to wake up the next morning with no idea how you got home or where your car is. Of course, it's safely tucked away in your garage/carport/parking spot, and you feel like you might have magical powers and that you are that one person who is invincible and just should be driving at all times. Just me? Ok. For every one of those, there's the morning where you realize that your car has a dent it that it definitely didn't have when you left your house the day before, or maybe you blow out your two tires when you hit a median on the way home. Still just me? I could keep going like this Daniel Tosh style until there is just one person in the room still laughing, but I won't. Because I have a point. Two, actually. First, this ad (clearly paid for by some alcohol type company and I think is about opposing ignition interlocks [which obviously are a grand idea]) spells Lindsay Lohan's name wrong. Look closely. That's just fucking stupid, as you know this thing isn't cheap (full page ad in USA Today). Second, why are they encouraging drunk driving? Even friendly happy hour ads shouldn't encourage it - they should team up with cab companies! I'm so disturbed...

I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream

In case you couldn't tell from my Ben & Jerry's free cone day post, I LOVE ice cream. A lot. And when I read that Mr. Robbins of Baskin Robbins died at age NINETY the other day, I decided it was ok for me to eat ice cream. Instead of apples - a cone a day will keep the doctor away, right? Then I found this article about the ten worst ice cream flavors of all time. In case you don't want to read it (but it's funny, so you should), I'll recap.

1. Wasabi ginger - from Cold Stone. "What am I supposed to mix in, chunks of fish?"
2. Fish - "What am I supposed to mix in, wasabi?"
3. Black licorice - hey, I can't even drink Jagger. Or eat fennel.
4. Wheat - I'll take it in carb form, thanks.
5. Pit viper - just, no.
6. Raw horseradish - if it's not on my tri tip or Arby's sandwich, I'm not interested.
7. Tomato - I can't even eat tomato soup.
8. Charcoal - that's not even a food.
9. Viagra - just take it in pill form.
10. Salad - ice cream is fattening, stop pretending. "It just makes it the most retarded thing you could ever try and market to fatties."

Now I'm really wishing I was capable of keeping ice cream in my freezer. But I'm not, so I have nothing to go snack on to get the idea of salad ice cream out of my head.

Feminine Hygeine

Read further at your own risk; this is about to be girly and gross. I found this horrific article the other day, and after being completely repulsed, I had a whole thought process involving tampons. Then tampons versus pads, and why one would choose one over the other. Then the vague fear of toxic shock syndrome, which I still think might be fake. I'd write more on this subject, but I think I would just freak myself out (and my reader) and that's just unnecessary. Read the article, if you aren't squeamish, and then just think about it. Being a girl sucks.

Booooooring

This will be short because this episode was such a waste of tv time that I don't even want to recap. It barely even set anything up for the finale! In summary: Audrina is a sad third wheel, Justin Bobby has short hair but still looks like he doesn't shower, Lo and Lauren got a dog, and Audrina is not one of its mommies, Spiedi still vie for camera time, and um ... that's it. Oh yeah, Lo has great facial expressions and is obviously breaking up the Audrina/Lauren duo.

Miller Lite: Better than 72 virgins

Not that I think I'll be getting into heaven (which generally doesn't concern me as I don't think many of my friends would be there either and I bet the parties are cooler in hell), but I think/hope it might be like this:

Cat people

So some people have cats. I really have no feelings on cats one way or the other, as long as they don't hate me. But I get why people love them, own them, etc. However, it's one thing to own a cat, and love your cat, and an entirely other thing to get your cat an attachable desk tray so that they can be near you and not on your laptop. That's "scary cat lady with hundreds of cats found eating her body weeks after her death" weird.

FYI - dogs don't want to sit on your laptop. They are fine just being near you, not annoying you. However, dogs also have weird and annoying owners with websites devoted to cute pet pictures of the day. People: start reading blogs instead.

Those crazy Brits

Yes, we are all familiar with Facebook. I hear all the kids are into it these days. Unfortunately, I can safely say that over half of my friends don't even have accounts (and thus I can't follow their doings). I found this great video on the web and felt the need to share (it's only like 30 seconds, don't worry).