I'm Cut Off? No, YOU'RE Cut Off!

Hopefully, I'm not the only one here that has loved and lost. And by that, I mean: watched You're Cut Off and is now sad that the finale has come and gone. In all my reality television viewing, to this day I have never seen more bickering. Specifically, bickering over absolutely nothing. It was almost poetic to watch. Here's a pic of the ladies, in case you just have to know. After eight weeks in their house (yeah, right, I believe that) their loved ones had to decide if they'd changed enough to be allowed to come back home. Some of us at home were moved to tears (I stubbed my toe, don't judge). While certain blogs have actually taken the time to deconstruct each episode in their entirety, I wouldn't even know how to get screen grabs. My biggest concern throughout each episode was Leanne's extensions. I gave my Barbie better extensions by shaving Skipper's hair and gluing it to Barbie, so I know of where I speak. I can't believe that she actually paid somebody to do that to her head. I'm convinced it was all some sort of arty-James Franco-esque event, or maybe even a bet or a dare. Worst case, somebody paid her to have her hair look that bad on national television. Even Myammee's potential hair extension business had better looking extensions. She would dream of Ken Pave's extensions. It was a virtual train wreck. Now, onto the really good reality shows - Jersey Shore premiers tonight!

The Hills ... Redux

As promised, I watched the finale. Here goes!

So, life is difficult, and Kristin needs change. Specifically, she's going to move to Europe. As noted on The Soup, it's never specified where in Europe she's going, so it's all very believable. Maybe this face is indicating that the decision is overwhelming. Or, equally likely, she doesn't even believe her own acting. Riveting stuff.

In other news, both Stephanie and Lo suddenly have boyfriends. They are both getting very serious, so they're lives are changing. Also, they are happy about it. See the smiles?

Audrina is moving to "not Hollywood." Yeah, right. After dating Ryan Cabrera and being on the Hills for five years, she just needs to get out of the spotlight. It's all very believable. Besides, she can't go too far, or she'll be out of Justin Bobby range, and one of these days, he may be less douchey and really want a relationship (hahahahahaha).


Then, for a the SHOCKING end of the finale episode, Brody sees off Kristin as she's heading for her flight to Europe. Fantastic montage of prior Hills footage, including pre-plastic surgery Heidi and Stephen!!!! I knew they'd find a way to bring him back and bring a smile to my face. Oh, no, that was not the shock. Everyone was surprised to find that the scene was shot in a studio lot, as the hills behind Brody were pulled away for the reveal. Kristin jumped back out of the car, and America was left in a tailspin! Was it all a lie? What are we to believe? I can't believe that a reality show would be based on anything aside from 100% reality. Shenanigans! The saddest part? No more fodder for Joel McHale. I'll just have to strengthen my VH1 focus. Ochocinco, here I come!

The Hills ... Delay

I'm actually planning on a Hills finale recap post (for old time's sake) even though I had to stop watching regularly two seasons ago (the vapidness went beyond even my capacity). However, I stepped into a time capsule and may be watching a marathon of the first season of The Closer (2005) instead. I'm DVRing, so no worries peeps, but I have my priorities ... which just don't include Kristin Cavallari's life decisions. I AM, however, hoping she reunites with Stephen in the finale (and that Lauren shows up so they can fight about it). Fingers crossed!!

Things Mindy Bought that I Love

A couple months ago, I discovered that one of my favorite Twitter celebs, Mindy Kaling, used to write a blog - literally, Things I've Bought that I Love. Four hours of my life later, I had read each post and developed the biggest girl-crush ever. And decided that Mindy's taste is awesome, if a bit out of my price range. I found that I had actually Googled every item (minus pills and powders) to see if they were still available and what I'd have to sell of to obtain them. To date, I haven't purchased any of her recommendations, but I find myself shopping for cashmere throws and checking out London Sole flats at least once a week.

Also, I've re-read the posts on more than one occasion since that fateful day (apparently I have a lot of time on my hands) despite the fact that she essentially abandoned her blog in 2008. I'm secretly hoping that she'll change her mind and start up her blog again (I'm not going to say that my returning to my blog is in no way related to this). And now, time for online shopping for a $200 hoodie. Don't worry, I'll just browse ... for now.

I'm Back, Bitches!

I know, you've missed me terribly in the last two years. I was busy drinking; deal with it. But now I have thoughts to express, and I like some of the people on Facebook too much to just throw my crap on there to bombard people if they haven't chosen to come find me. So anyway, following a short week with minimal work effort, I've found myself seriously drained and in no mood to hit the mean streets of Newport. Post-holiday weeks really are the worst! Hence, Tosh.0 in bed with some wine and a cuddly cat. That came out way more pathetic than it was intended.

Life update: I stopped watching The Hills, moved to Costa Mesa, drank beers with one of the dudes from The League, started twittering (tweeting?), and was told by my doctor that I should wear heels less and responsible loafers with arch support more. Also, I decided to check out Big Brother and officially gave up on The Real World. I think this all means that I'm growing up. And if growing up involves taking large amounts of cash to Las Vegas, I'm totally on board.